{"id":12070,"date":"2025-04-11T06:42:54","date_gmt":"2025-04-11T06:42:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/?p=12070"},"modified":"2025-04-11T06:42:57","modified_gmt":"2025-04-11T06:42:57","slug":"edging-makes-your-orgasms-even-more-powerful","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/archives\/12070","title":{"rendered":"Edging Makes Your Orgasms Even More Powerful"},"content":{"rendered":"

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Here’s how to do it.\n\n
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We may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article.\n\n
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We\u2019re always hearing that we could be having better sex,\u00a0a better orgasm, or a better relationship. But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a\u00a0sex therapist, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions will remain anonymous.\n
Now, onto this week\u2019s topic:\u00a0how to try orgasm control.\n
Q:\u00a0\u201cHi, so I read in one of your last columns that\u00a0orgasm control can be a hot way to dominate\u00a0your partner. I’ve vaguely heard of it before, but I don’t know how it actually works. I would love step-by-step instructions for\u00a0how to try orgasm control for the first time. Does it work any differently for men as opposed to women? My partner and I both want to try it on each other. Thanks!\u201d\n
A: Thanks for the question! First, let\u2019s go over the basics.\u00a0Orgasm control means\u00a0exactly what it sounds like \u2014 controlling and prolonging the timing of your orgasm. Typically, it\u2019s done by getting to the brink of orgasm, then stopping, slowing down, or lessening stimulation until your arousal levels drop. Then you get back to the edge of orgasm, and repeat as many times as you want.\n
The basic process of orgasm control can\u00a0help your sexual interactions last longer. You can also use orgasm control to incorporate\u00a0power play dynamics\u00a0into the experience by having one person be in control of the other partner\u2019s orgasm. You can practice orgasm control alone, which is\u00a0typically called “edging,\u201d and you can practice it with a partner.\n
The Benefits Of Orgasm Control\n
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Practicing orgasm control can have a lot of great benefits. It usually leads to\u00a0much stronger orgasms, since it builds tension over a longer period of time. People who practice orgasm control can also learn how to\u00a0last longer in the bedroom. If you feel like your hookups end too quickly, it might be worth a try.\n
It can also be really hot to put another trusted person in complete control of your orgasm, which is what would happen if your partner slowed down right before you finished.\n
Of course, before trying any of this, it’s important to discuss and clearly establish your boundaries with your partner \u2014 including what each of you are and aren’t interested in exploring, how you’ll each communicate if you don’t want to engage in a specific activity, and how to honor each other’s limits.\n
How To Try Orgasm Control\n
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Practice On Your Own\n
To test and see if you like edging, try it on your own. Most people tend to\u00a0masturbate in a pretty linear way, meaning they try to orgasm as quickly and efficiently as possible. But if you want to be able to stop yourself (or be stopped by a partner) before reaching orgasm, you have to learn\u00a0when\u00a0to stop yourself.\n
Most people have what\u2019s called a \u201cpoint of no return.\u201d Once you hit that point, you can\u2019t stop your orgasm, no matter what you do. In order to even attempt orgasmic control, you have to learn to recognize the signs of your \u201cpoint of no return.\u201d\n
As you masturbate, try to get a sense of what your body is doing as you\u00a0start to approach orgasm. Do your toes start to curl? Does your breathing pick up? Try stopping as you notice these signs and letting your arousal levels fall. Then start up again, and get yourself close to orgasm again. Repeat the whole process as many times as you\u2019d like.\n
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Show Your Partner\n
Next, you and your partner can try edging yourselves in front of each other, one at a time. the goal is to show each other what it looks like as you get close to orgasm. If they\u2019re just watching and not participating, they can keep an eye out for all the tiny details.\n
This helps your partner get more\u00a0familiar with your orgasm\u00a0and learn what the signs of your point of no return are, like those toe curls or breathing changes. You can also fill them in on what you noticed while experimenting by yourself. The more you talk about it, the easier it\u2019ll be for them to spot the signs.\n
Of course, you can also announce it during sex by saying you\u2019re close, and that\u2019ll be their cue to back off. But sometimes it\u2019s fun when they\u2019re able to tell all on their own.\n
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Take Control Of Your Partner\u2019s Masturbation\n
Another way to practice is by taking over control of your partner\u2019s orgasm. Have them start masturbating in front of you and when you notice them start to get really aroused, tell them to stop.\n
You can also ask them to tell you when they\u2019re getting too close, or even to give you a signal (like raising a finger) when they\u2019re approaching orgasm. Give them about 30 seconds to a minute of break time, then tell them to start up again. Repeat this about three times, then tell them to\u00a0make themselves come.\n
You can switch roles right away, or the next time. As you continue playing with orgasm control, you can increase the number of times you make each other stop and start again.\n
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Practice Orgasm Controlling Your Partner\n
To take it to the next level, try being the one to stimulate your partner while still controlling their orgasm. You can\u00a0give them a hand job\u00a0or finger them, have\u00a0oral sex, or have intercourse. Tell them to let you know when they\u2019re getting too close or to give a signal. You can also practice getting more in tune with knowing when to stop.\n
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Add The Power Play\n
Once you\u2019ve got the basics down, you can add more of the\u00a0power play dynamics\u00a0if you\u2019d like. Before hooking up, pick which one of you is going to be in control. Have that person tell the other person that they\u2019re not allowed to come unless they have explicit permission \u2014 it all adds to the atmosphere.\n
You can also play up the dynamic by offering reminders while you\u2019re being intimate. Say things like, \u201cYou better not be getting too close,\u201d or, \u201cYou\u2019re going to be in trouble if you come before I give you permission.\u201d\n
Another option is to taunt them with things like, \u201cI bet you want to come, don\u2019t you?\u201d Make them beg you for permission.\n
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Take It To The Next Level\n
There are lots of fun ways to keep playing with orgasm control together. It could be fun to create rules, like one of you can\u2019t finish until the other says so. If you\u2019re into it, you could also incorporate \u201cpunishments,\u201d like one of you can\u2019t orgasm again until the next time you\u2019re intimate.\n
To add an extra layer, try incorporating restraints, like the\u00a0Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint\u00a0system, to tie one partner up. You\u2019ll create an impossibly high level of sexual frustration.\n
Another trick is to try orgasm control over an extended period of time. Put one partner in control over all of the other partner\u2019s orgasms for a few days, or even a week. The partner in control can\u2019t even masturbate unless given permission.\n
How To Talk About Trying Something New\n
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Trying something new in bed can be exciting, but that doesn\u2019t mean it\u2019s easy necessarily easy to broach the subject with a partner. “Many couples are uncomfortable asking for what they want sexually,\u00a0directing their partner, and expressing pleasure,” Stefani Threadgill, sex therapist and founder of\u00a0The Sex Therapy Institute, previously told Bustle.\n
To make it less awkward, make the conversation fun. Threadgill recommended talking about what turns you on and asking your partner to do the same. You can also show each other how you like to be touched. Once the convo is flowing, it\u2019ll be easier to bring up new positions you\u2019d like to try, share your fantasies, and chat about edging.\n
Need more courage? \u201cWhen you can openly and candidly talk with your partner about sexuality and intimacy you’ll feel more connected, increase your pleasure potential, and have a more meaningful relationship,” Amy Levine, a sex coach and founder of\u00a0Ignite Your Pleasure, previously told Bustle.\n
By being upfront about what you\u2019d like to try, you\u2019ll not only have more fun, but you\u2019ll also feel closer.\n\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Here’s how to do it. We may receive a portion of sales if you purchase a product through a link in this article. We\u2019re always hearing that we could be … \n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":12071,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12070","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12070","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12070"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12070\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12072,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12070\/revisions\/12072"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12071"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12070"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12070"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scenicwhispers.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12070"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}